I want to believe that if someone is saying something nice and loving to me, it is not because they are trying to hide their anger.
When you are pissed off at someone, you’re just pissed off. Many times, there is good reason for being pissed off. Most often than not, there exists a misunderstanding that is creating the anger. If one doesn’t reveal the anger, how real is communication , anyway? If we always couch our anger in palatable forms, how can we ever truly communicate how we really feel.
Embedding angry emotions within nice-nice language make nice language meaningless. That last thing that nice language should be is meaningless. Being able to have a good damn argument about something that is important is a skill we a losing by vilifying anger.
Anger deserves some respect.
Ok, granted, a good damn argument can result in some truly horrific consequences. But what I am saying is that anger is an honest emotion. Just as love is an honest emotion. Just as sorrow is an honest emotion. If someone is angry, then the responsibility to listen to “why” is the burden of the recipient. If the recipient merely gets angry – or shuts off – because someone is angry at them, then that is a problem.
Current trends in proper behavior have shortcircuited a very important channel of communication. Listening. LISTENING! We just don’t listen to each other. When I fuck up, and someone gets angry because I fucked up, I need to listen, stare myself down, and if I deem it worthy, try to fix the problem. Problems are not always fixable, but the acknowledgement that I am trying, respects the anger.
Anger deserves respect.